Thanks to a friend

A poem that’s different from any other love song or poem

One that can be digested

Without affecting our self-esteem

A healthy organic love poem

Completely different from the spoon-fed love songs and poems

Our mothers and our grandmothers used to cry to

No more Air Supply on the radio telling my dad

That he’s All out of Love

And Mary J, if you’re going down cause he aint around

Don’t take my mama there with you

And Leanne Rimes “How will I live without you”

Was one of my first break-up anthems

And when Jorge was cheating

And emotions became physical beatings

Cindy Lauper told me to stay and take it“Time after Time”

And with Mark I would cry myself to sleep to Lila Downs

Telling me in Spanish that I should wallow in my own self-pity

While Tony Braxton gave me false hope with“Unbreak my heart”

And I would wake up to Billy Holliday singing“Good morning Heartache”

These love songs we internalized

And before we realized it was too late

We were already victims to these cycles of unhealthy relationships

Acting out of desperation

Our fears grow into monsters

Fed by our insecurities

Molding our perceptions of love

Tainting its potential

We become vulnerable to loneliness

And in the hopes of being fulfilled we selfishly CLAIM our lovers

Like Ritchie Valenz singing“You are mine and we belong together”

And Sarah Vaughan singing“You are mine you, you belong to me and I will never free you”

So we think we own people

Like slave masters

We are filled with self-hate

Wanting to imprison someone’s spirit,

Chastise their heart,

Manipulate their thoughts

Cause we are not enough for ourselves

And we are suckers for self-destructive romance

No wonder we misunderstand the meaning of love

So I write this self empowered love poem

Because I want to shape-shift this paradigm

I am my own person

And I refuse to be defined by these songs

These poems

I will not claim them

They do not sing to me

I release them

And I write this poem

This self empowered love poem

An independent

Not co-dependent

Love poem

That goes something like this:

My love:

Truth be told

I don’t wanna beaddicted to you

And if you reallytook my breath away

I would suffocate

I don’t wannadie for you

AndI wont do anything for love,

I will not quit chocolate for you

No I wont do that

I will not quiet my thoughts for you

Will not change my ways for you

Will not stop writing this verse

Will not put YOU at the center of MY Universe

No I wont do that

Come what may

I will not love you until my dying day

If you turn out to be someone who brings pain into my life

Causeyou are not everything to me

Andeverything I do, I don’t do it for you

So I will not belost without you

And my life will not stop without you

I don’t want to becrazy for your love

And I hope thatyou’re notalways on my mind

And yes you compliment me

Butyou don’t complete me

I wanna be aligned to you

But not defined by you

And sureyou can always be my baby

Until the day you decide to act out

And then it’s peace out, see ya later

I’m a lover not a hater

But a womyn’s gotta know

When it’s time to let go

Andyour not too good to be true

There are many people I connect with that I’m also attracted to

AndI don’t only have eyes for you

I actually like to appreciate beauty all around me

Its not realistic for me to tell you thatyou are the most beautiful person in the world

Cause although I know a lot of people

I DON’T KNOW EVERYONE!

And I wontgive my all to have just one more night with you

If it’s over why prolong it….?

Which is why I don’t wannaturn back the hands of time

If it happened…it was for a reason!

I don’t need you in my life

But rather I chose you in my life

And If I’m with you

It’s because I wanna be with you

And yes I love you

But I cannotlove you until the end of time

Because I will die before time ends

And though our souls may meet again

I have no way of knowing that

So I would be lying if I promised you that

All I can say is I love you

And I cant pretend

Like my feelings wont shift or end

Or transform with time

So I write this poem

This self-empowered love poem

That doesn’t need your validation

Nor wants a response from you

This poem that doesn’t want to save you

Or enslave you

This poem that doesn’t need you to love back

Though it wants you to

I write this poem that is beautiful despite you

This poem that will exist without you

It can stand up for itself

This poem that will not wait for you

Once you are gone

This poem will move on

And keep shining

Mature, sexy and grown

Everlasting

Beautiful

Free

And loving itself

So that it can truly love you!